Above: The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snack, Copyright 2008 by The Driver. All rights reserved by the magic of the Internet.
Over the weekend, Mrs. Driver made chocolate chip cookies for her co-workers and some neighbors. The Driver loves it when Mrs. Driver makes chocolate chip cookies, mostly because he gets to "test" the cookie dough.
Mrs. Driver was on her second batch of cookies, and The Driver was on about his third spoonful of cookie dough. And that's when he was suddenly blind-sided by an overwhelming and powerful bolt of inspiration.
The idea was sublime. And it burst into The Driver's brain as a completely formed thought -- with no problem-solving or prior contemplation. All of a sudden, it was just there. And there was nothing The Driver could do to stop it.
"Put cookie dough on cookies. Make sandwich."
And so it was.
What's better than chocolate chip cookies? Cookie dough. And what's better than either of those things? Easy.
"The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snack."
Now, The Driver acknowledges that it's not the most elegant of names. But that's partially by design. Because The Driver isn't willing to just toss this intellectual property carelessly into Cyberspace. So he's built in a few measures in order to protect the idea.
By reading this post, you (the Reader) agree to acknowledge The Driver and The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snack (the Product) each time you assemble and consume the Product in perpetuity throughout the universe.
Example: "Mommy, will you make The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks?"
Example: "Aren't these Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks great? They're the sole property of The Driver, and cannot be consumed without The Driver's express written consent. Kind of like re-broadcasting Monday Night Football, only with far more dire consequences. Have some more!"
Example: "Mandy always brings The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks to the office party. She's such a show-off."
Example: "The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks changed my life. That guy must be rolling in money from those things. If only there were some way for me to send money to his blog or something. I'd gladly pay $19.99 for the license to make and consume them outside my home and without having to mention The Driver after each bite. But for now, it's a small price to pay for such an amazing and proprietary Cookie Dough Snack."
The Driver encourages you to try his Proprietary Cookie Dough Snack and post your comments.
Also, please send money.
You're welcome.
3 comments:
I wonder if my pantry currently has the ingredients necessary to make The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks. I hope so. Just looking at the picture makes me pretty sure that they would change my life.
I would consider wearing a sandwich board on a certain highway intersection proclaiming the absolute yumminess of The Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snacks. Surely that is equal to $19.99.
There is a tale – I believe it is an urban myth – about an aspiring student who was asked to choose one word to describe himself (and explain why) on his college ap. The legend goes that the college was Harvard, but it could be any college. The student simply wrote: "I am concise."
The elegance and brilliance of that student's college ap has now been overshadowed by the luminosity of this cookie sandwich.
I am jonesing for a Driver's Proprietary Cookie Dough Snack. That, and a whataburger.
Post a Comment