The Day in Excrement

A typical daily chronology for The Driver, expressed in terms of the handling of human and animal waste matter:

3:30 AM Change wet diaper

3:45 AM Scoop cat feces from litter box

3:46 AM Clean cat urine from floor next to litter box

(Cat protesting lack of food)

6:45 AM Change wet diaper

6:47 AM Clean dog urine from living room floor

7:00 AM Collect dog urine sample for veterinarian

7:04 AM Pick up dog feces

7:12 AM Scoop cat feces from litter box

7:13 AM Change wet diaper

8:13 AM Change wet diaper

8:42 AM Change wet diaper

9:05 AM Deliver dog urine (in Tupperware container) to veterinarian

for urinalysis (Diagnosis: bladder infection. Treatment: costly.)

9:14 AM Change wet diaper

10:28 AM Change wet diaper

11:00 AM Change "poopy" diaper

11:47 AM Change wet diaper

12:17 PM Change wet diaper

1:00 PM Change wet diaper

1:01 PM Clean baby urine from changing table

(Baby urinates during changing)

1:56 PM Change wet diaper

3:12 PM Change wet diaper

4:00 PM Change wet diaper

5:00 PM Observe dogs urinating, pick up dog feces

5:07 PM Scoop clumps of cat urine from litter box

5:22 PM Change wet diaper

6:07 PM Change wet diaper

7:13 PM Change wet diaper

8:48 PM Scoop cat feces from litter box

9:15 PM Observe dogs urinating, pick up dog feces

10:27 PM Change wet diaper