Good grammar. There is no substitute.

Above: The new 4-door Porsche Panamera boasts an array of poorly-described features -- and some very surprising additions.

Porsche just introduced a new 4-door performance sedan -- and with it, the end of advertising as we know it.

For years, Porsche has set a standard in the advertising community for smart, sophisticated and deftly executed branding. Art directors and copywriters hang Porsche print ads in their cubicles like rock posters or album covers. And back in the 1980s, Tom Cruise permanently cemented the Porsche slogan in the cultural lexicon.

Now, with the release of its campaign for the 4-door Panamera, Porsche throws it in reverse, grinds the gears and awkwardly backs into a telephone pole.

Below is the copy for a Panamera radio spot that's currently in rotation. See if you can find the one word that ruins everything.

No one has the capacity to break the rules more than Porsche. And now, the new Panamera. The legendary sports car driving experience built for four. The staggering Porsche power is unmistakably present. As is the relentlessly precise handling. And with the addition of a second row of executively seated passengers, there's no end to the rules you can break. Porsche. There is no substitute.

Did you find it? The Driver did. In fact, had The Driver not been sorting laundry when he first heard this spot on the radio, he might have swerved his 2000 Toyota Tacoma off the road and into a ditch.

"Executively"?

Yes.

Executively.

Unfortunately, it's actually a word. Really. The Driver looked it up. He was shocked. And not happy.

Fortunately, "no one has the capacity to break the rules more than Porsche." Apparently, this not only applies to the laws of car making, but also to the rules of advertising, grammar, communication, and all that's holy.

That brings us to the grammar problem. Because that awful, awful word isn't even used correctly. The ad promises "a second row of executively seated passengers." This literally means that the passengers themselves are somehow seated... executively. Does this mean their legs are crossed? Ankle-to-knee, or knee-over-knee? Are they somehow uptight? The Driver thinks of most executives as stuffy and humorless. Are they even enjoying the fact that they're seated executively?

Wait a minute.

On further review, The Driver wonders whether Porsche isn't setting itself up for a world of hurt. Again, the ad promises "the addition of a second row of executively seated passengers".

In other words, the car comes with extra people in the back seat.

Does the customer at least get to choose the passengers? Are they available in an array of colors? Are the passengers volunteers or paid employees? Is the customer responsible for their healthcare benefits? Seeing as how they're seated so executively, that could be costly.

Bottom line, someone had better check this out with the ACLU.

The Driver thinks that Porsche meant to suggest that the second row of seats in the new Panamera are "executively appointed". He thinks that means "leather", but he can't be sure. His 2000 Toyota Tacoma boasts only one row of seats, and they are only blue-collarly appointed. Also, it has no more than two passengers at any given time, none of which came standard with the vehicle.

Every choice has consequences. Here are the consequences of Porsche's decision to go with "executively":

1. A Porsche Product Manager quietly closes his thesaurus, leans back in his chair and smiles with self-satisfaction. He has captured the essence of the seating experience in the Panamera in a way that's never been articulated.

2. Several attorneys in Porsche's legal department read a copy of the radio script and (after a number of emails and at least one conference call with the account executive at Porsche's ad agency) decide it's safe to claim that passengers in the Panamera might be seated executively. Except in Georgia.

3. An account executive reads the script, circles the word "executively" and draws a smiley face next to it. She's not sure whether that's an actual word, but she knows it's different. She decides to pitch it to her steakhouse client -- thinking that the audience would appreciate the value of an "executive-chefly-prepared" $5 buffet.

4. An entire generation of marketing writers begin hawking "a vast array of world-class, executively-customized solutions" to meet their customers' needs.

5. A copywriter quietly deposits his paycheck at his bank, drives to the nearest bar, drinks four beers, drives home, and kicks his dog.