Um...

Pop (Culture) Quiz :

Which of the following is worse :

1. Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has a sex tape. 

2. The Driver clicked to watch it.

3. TMZ.com ran a commercial before the clip.

4. The commercial was for Hershey's chocolate bars.

5. It featured country music singer Brad Paisley.

CUE MUSIC : Brad Paisley guitar riffs

CLOSE-UP on a platter of Hershey's chocolate bars, marshmallows and graham crackers (the basic ingredients of s'mores).

SLOW PAN and ZOOM OUT as a frolicking twenty-something carries the platter to a waiting group of peers. They are gathered on a beach. It appears to be about 5:00PM. A country band (led by Brad Paisley) is playing for the impromptu beach party, mingling among the frolicking twenty-somethings. There are no amplifiers, instrument cables or sources of electricity to be found. Still, the band jams to its down-home brand of electrified country music as if it were fully "plugged in."

QUICK CUTS of frolicking twenty-somethings enjoying s'mores while dancing and listening to country music. Just a typical beach hoe-down with some raw s'mores in broad daylight.

MORE QUICK CUTS of frolicking, designed to prevent the viewer from noticing that there is no campfire on which to cook s'mores.

ANNOUNCER VO : [ Paraphrased ] Nothing tastes better on the beach at 5:00PM than uncooked s'mores -- especially when they're made with Hershey's chocolate! And especially when Brad Paisley or some guys with instruments are there! 

FOOD SHOT shows frolicking twenty-something pressing two graham crackers together, attempting to force a cold marshmallow and a hunk of Hershey's chocolate into something resembling a "s'more."

ANNOUNCER VO : [ Paraphrased ] And now, you can go to Brad Paisley's web site and read all about Hershey's chocolate. Don't ask questions! Just go there now! Eat country music! Listen to s'mores! Amen.

FADE TO BLACK

The commercial was so surreal that it actually worked. The Driver Googled "Hershey" + "Brad Paisley," and found that Brad Paisley's current tour is being sponsored by Hershey's chocolates. It all made perfect sense.

Unfortunately, The Driver was not able to find a link to the most bizarre commercial ever to run before a Verne Troyer sex tape. He even went back and played the clip again (just to see if he could get a link to the commercial, of course).

This time, the Verne Troyer sex tape was brought to you by Friskies cat food.

The Driver did not stick around to watch the clip again.