Culver's is Delicious, Confusing

The Drivers became fans of Culver's while on vacation in Minnesota. On a highway just north of Moose Lake, we saw a billboard that advertised something called a "ButterBurger". We weren't sure what that meant, but we were certain that we needed to find out.

Note: The Driver later learned that the inspiration for the "ButterBurger" might be this place — where the burger is actually served swimming in an obscene amount of butter. Culver's might put something similar to butter on its buns prior to grilling, but in no way does that compare to an actual "ButterBurger". The Driver will be trying a true "ButterBurger" as soon as possible.

Anyhow, The Drivers also learned that the Wisconsin-born burger chain sells not only "ButterBurgers", but frozen custard as well. And that in addition to chocolate and vanilla frozen custard, Culver's offers a Flavor of the Day.

All that to show you this — a photo of a Culver's sign:

The Drivers opted for chocolate custard over "BBQ Brisket".

And as long as we're dissecting the Culver's sign, it has always been The Driver's opinion that the company should have paid the extra $5 per sign for an ampersand after the word "Custard". Or perhaps splurged on the word "and" in front of "ButterBurgers".

Instead, The Driver pores over the concept of a "Frozen Custard ButterBurger".

Mmm... Frozen Burger...

Where The Driver Relieves Himself on the Road

The Drivers don't go to Houston very often. Probably need to do that more. Because what is otherwise a fairly tedious and uneventful drive was unexpectedly brightened by a new (to us) roadside phenomenon.

About an hour outside of our home burg, we started seeing billboards. The first one:

Intriguing. But not as curious as the one that promised something called "Beaver Nuggets."

The Drivers were hooked.

And so, we decided to stop at Buc-ee's and have a look.

Thirty minutes (and about forty bucks) later, The Driver reluctantly got back in the car. Something about his mother-in-law running a marathon, and we had to make it to Houston in time for blah, blah, blah. Seriously, don't Mrs. Driver and The Driver's mother-in-law run enough marathons? Look! I can make my own fountain drink! Dr Pepper with cherry syrup! Ooh... coffee mugs with quotes by John Wayne! Can I have it? Can I?

Buc-ee's is a monument to all things Texas truck stop. Only better. Not only is it sparkling clean and stocked to the ceiling with convenience store goodies, it's a general store loaded with country kitsch, Texana and darn near anything else you can imagine.

Next door? Buc-ee's Outdoor store. Where one can apparently buy deer corn.

In addition to the homemade fudge, Buc-ee's also sells jalapeno relish, jerky and the afforementioned "Beaver Nuggets":

Admittedly, The Driver found Beaver Nuggets to be better in theory than in practice. But he would never want to diminish your Buc-ee's experience. Instead, The Driver suggests that you load up the Family Truckster pronto and high-tail it to Buc-ee's.

After all, in the words of The Duke (at least, according to one coffee mug), "A man's got to do what a man's got to do."

Special thanks to Buc-ee's advertising agency for unknowingly letting me swipe an image from their Flickr page. Buc-ee's is obviously a great client with a sense of humor — and these guys took the ball and ran with it.

The Drivers Take a Road Trip

Above: The Drivers' 15-day-old daughter honors her native Texas with a visit to the state capitol. Not shown: The Driver and Mrs. Driver jaywalking into the middle of Congress Street to capture this photo.

This past weekend, the Driver family loaded up its precious cargo and... what else... started driving. The destination: Austin, TX. The Driver was invited to give a presentation at a fancy conference. And thankfully, Austin is home to some very special friends and family. So what better way to celebrate the Baby Driver's two-week birthday than with her very first road trip?

The kiddo proved to be an excellent traveling companion. Apparently, geography has no effect on her sleeping, eating and pooping -- all of which she performed like a little champion. Like Mrs. Driver, she was a little uncomfortable sleeping in a different environment. But her Mommy dutifully fed, burped, swaddled and comforted her into the wee hours while The Driver rested for his presentation.

After a successful conference, the Drivers spent the rest of the weekend with The Driver, Sr. (aka "Grampa"), the SuperCousins (nicknamed as such because the concept of second cousins is confusing even to grown-ups like The Driver -- and they're more like aunts and uncles anyway), the Great Aunt and Great Uncle. We also saw Aunt Presh, Uncle B and Mr. Jeff (who might need a different nickname -- possibly one that makes reference to his scary facial hair).

The Driver (and even Mrs. Driver) might have indulged in some well-earned adult beverages. There was lots of delicious food. And The Driver lost count after three Dr Peppers in one sitting.

Life was good.

After a delightful brunch with Aunt Presh and Uncle B, the Driver family reluctantly set a course for home.

What follows is a photo-documentary of some of the baby's favorite moments:

Above: The baby takes in Austin's famous Town Lake from The Drivers' hotel room.

Above: The baby enjoys brunch at Kerby Lane, an Austin brunch and baby landmark.

Above: No Driver family road trip would be complete without a pit stop at the Czech Stop. While the fresh sand is every bit as good as advertised, the Drivers prefer the kolaches.

Things That Are Coming Back So Strong They're On Your Head

Those of you who doubted the meteoric resurgence of quinoa into the cultural zeitgeist, you have been hereby silenced.

You read it here first. Oh, yes you did. You know that 72Pinto is your first source for all things quinoa. Don't even try to front. 

I'm Ready for My Microchip Now

For the past two presidential campaigns, The Driver has threatened to run for office on the "Teleportation in 200x*" platform.

Seriously. The Driver has family four hours away. And have we already covered the irony of the fact that The Driver doesn't so much enjoy "The Driving"?

Unfortunately, due to a significant lack of campaign funding — and not to mention the fact that the entirety of The Driver's research and development in the area of teleportation consists of The Driver declaring, "I need, like, teleportation" — his pursuit of his goals has failed to gain traction.

But that's another story.

Today, The Driver is embracing another imminent technological breakthrough. The Driver is ready for his microchip.

The Driver arrived at this conclusion when he recently had to travel to a neighboring country. Since The Driver does not have a work visa that would allow him to conduct business in said country, let's just assume that he traveled for "pleasure" — and that sitting in a two-hour meeting in a government office building could, under some circumstances, be described as "a pleasure."

The Driver's flight was scheduled to depart at about 1:30PM CDT (Central Driver Time). The Driver arrived at the airport at about 12:15, and proceeded to the ticket counter. He requested information on upgrading to something other than a middle seat next to the toilet. The agent suggested that The Driver try the self-check-in kiosk for upgrade options.

And so, The Driver walked over to the monitor to begin the check-in process.

And that's when The Driver realized that he was without his passport.

The Driver now knows that he can make the trip from the airport to The Condo in about 20 minutes. This information is filed under "Good to Know, but Moot," Because The Driver can't make it back to the airport with his passport in time for the cutoff / boarding.

Long story short, The Driver was able to travel standby later that day. So now, having a few hours of unanticipated free time — and not to mention being slightly traumatized by the experience of showing up at the airport for an international flight sans passport — The Driver decided he needed comfort food for lunch. And so, after stopping at The Condo to drop off his briefcase, he drove to his favorite cheeseburger drive-through.

Upon pulling up to the menu board / two-way communication device, The Driver realized he was without his debit card.

Left it in the briefcase. At The Condo.

And that's when The Driver decided he was ready for his microchip.

Things to put on the microchip:

1. Passport Information.

2. Debit Card Feature: Allows user / host to pay for cheeseburgers simply by pointing at the photo on the menu board. (May require monosyllabic grunt for confirmation / voice ID validation).

The Driver currently has no plans to run for elected office on a "A Car in Every Driveway and a Microchip in Every Cerebellum" platform. Once again, he cites a complete and total lack of funding.

* x = [ (election year) + 7 ]. The Driver knows that successful candidates set milestones that can only be reached after more than one term in office. See: JFK's promise to put a man on the moon within "the decade," or every mayor's vision of "a century where our children's children's children might be able to drive without hitting potholes."

Notes from (no Longer in) Montana: The White Bread Challenge

It's a modest proposal: Eat one slice of plain white bread in less than sixty seconds. One piece of bread. One minute.

The challenge: You can't do it.

The most common response to the Challenge: Laughter.

Go ahead. Take the Challenge yourself. We won't spoil the details of the experience. It's best if you go into it cold. Naive. Bolstered by pride and ignorance.

In fact, we'll wait a while to post the video of our Montana friend failing The White Bread Challenge -- and ultimately "losing it" in that worst and most violent of ways.

Instead, here are a few highlights from the clip. The two minute, thirty-eight second clip.

Stage One: Denial

Stage Two: Despair

Stage Three: Bargaining

Stage Four: Working Through

Stage Five: Acceptance, Hope

The Drivers have issued The White Bread Challenge to a total of some twenty individuals. To date, only two* have successfully eaten a slice of white bread in less than sixty seconds (and lived to tell about it).

The rules: Bread only. No water or other beverages. As for technique, anything goes. Get creative. Experiment. You still can't do it.

Be sure to comment on this post with your results -- once you recover, of course.

Enjoy!

*A number of these people were attending The Driver's bachelor party, so details on how many accepted the challenge -- or succeeded -- are unreliable.

Hello, Montana. Goodbye, Air Conditioning.

The Drivers have just returned from five days in Montana. And. It. Was. Awesome. 

Topics to be covered in a less-than-timely fashion include :

[ In no particular order ]

1. Holy Smokes. Montana is Beautiful

2. Fireworks (in Rural Montana, with Wine)

3. Fireworks with a Former Space Shuttle Astronaut

4. Oh, Yes. There Were Cheeseburgers

5. The White Bread Challenge

6. Kayaking, Your Marriage and You

7. Our Hosts Can Cook

8. Holy Smokes. A Former Space Shuttle Astronaut

Until then, please enjoy a few completely unrelated blogs created and maintained by some random people who live in Montana :

Texans in Montana

The View From Up Here

Boston is Cool

The Driver and Mrs. Driver recently returned from Boston. We don't know whether they still say "wicked awesome" in Boston, but for the sake of this post, we'll assume that they do. Because Boston is wicked awesome.

Allow us to show you one of the most wicked awesome dining experiences in Boston's North End.

Go to this place:

This is Giacomo's. It's good for at least three reasons:

1. Rachel Ray says it's good. Normally, this would be an instant disqualification for The Drivers, who typically steer clear of overly-hyped restaurants (tourist trap potential). The Drivers also have a love-hate relationship with Ms. Ray, but that's another post.

2. The above photo shows the line at 4:35pm. If there's one thing The Driver hates, it's waiting to eat -- especially at someplace that someone else says is cool. But if there's one thing The Driver loves more than dinner, it's an early dinner. Good food enjoyed early beats a 30-minute wait.

3. This is the entire restaurant:

If you're a party of two, you might be seated at "the bar," which is to say that you'll get the two bar stools located in the back corner of the restaurant -- at the end of the serving line. From these two seats, you'll have a commanding (and slightly elevated, thanks to the bar stools) view of the kitchen, the line, the chalkboard / menu, the entrance, the front windows and... well... that's it.

Incidentally, the food is really nice. Nothing too generic, nothing overly "artsy." The fried calamari, for example, was accented with jalapeños. We shared butternut squash ravioli with proscuitto in a light cream sauce. And we watched the whole meal being prepared and delivered steaming hot from the line.

We spent 30 minutes waiting outside, and 35 minutes in the restaurant. That might make it sound like the experience at Giacomo's is rushed. We prefer to think of it as "efficient." We had plenty of time to enjoy our appetizer before our entree arrived. And when we were finished eating, we paid the check (cash only) and left. Done and done. Back to the hotel just in time for The Driver's 7:30 bedtime. That's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) The Driver likes it.

The Drivers have plenty more to share from Boston. But we still don't fully understand the Web 2.0 culture -- namely one that believes the world desperately wants to see said culture's vacation slides. So bear with us. We'll post when we feel there's some context. Do really good meals count?