Duck, Duck, Maverick

Seriously? Are hapless animals drawn to The Driver, Mrs. Driver and their friends?

Yes. And that's not a bad thing.

On Monday morning, The Driver received a call from a friend who found a duck sitting in a busy street next to the curb. It was just sitting there, looking around a bit, but not moving. The friend didn't want to try to pick it up, but she didn't want to leave it there, either.

So after a quick and fruitless search of the condo for a cardboard box big enough to hold a duck, The Driver threw a couple of towels and a small dish of birdseed (see also: Lovey) into the cab of the truck, then drove two blocks to check things out.

Upon arriving at the scene and seeing the duck, The Driver's first reaction was, "That's not a duck. That thing's huge!" It had to be a goose. It had a narrow bill and a long neck. It wasn't brightly colored. In fact, it was a little disheveled. And it was pretty darn big. Not the cute, cuddly Easter duckie that The Driver had envisioned. But despite its dangerous and unusual resting place, the duck / goose seemed fairly calm, if not a little defeated.

The Driver and his friend discussed options. The local police might help us capture the bird, at which point it would be ours to deal with. Animal Control might show up in a few hours, capture the bird, and then take it someplace about which we chose not to speculate. A local vet probably wouldn't send someone out. We did, however, know about a place called Rogers Wildlife Rehabilitation, and that they picked up injured birds and other animals from Eastlake Veterinary Hospital.

The first attempt to subdue the duck / goose with a towel was unsuccessful. It hobbled / flapped away angrily. We noted that it seemed a little "drunk" or disoriented. Perhaps it had been clipped by a car. It was also favoring its left leg.

The closer we got to the bird, the farther away it hobbled. Finally, fearing that it would walk itself into the next intersection, we stopped and re-evaluated. At the same time, the duck / goose plopped down on the sidewalk. It seemed tired.

The Driver made one more attempt. This time, the bird didn't try to walk away. It squawked once in protest as the towel landed across its back. We swaddled the duck / goose in the towel and carried it to the truck. It wasn't too heavy, but it was still huge. Its body was bigger than a football. This was not a duck. We placed the bird in the back of the cab, gently moved the dish of birdseed next to its head and closed the door.

Next came the five-mile drive to Eastlake Veterinary Hospital. The Driver imagined motorists looking on in terror at the truck next to them as a duck / goose battled The Driver for freedom and / or control of the vehicle. Feathers everywhere. Arms flailing. Beaks poking at delicate eyeballs. 

Fortunately, we arrived at Eastlake Veterinary Hospital without incident. In fact, we even snapped a photo of our reluctant passenger -- and he / she even nibbled at the birdseed.


Sorry for the bad cell-phone photo. But what did you expect? The Driver was trying to drive a duck to the vet. He's pointing the phone back over his shoulder, hoping that said duck doesn't decide to twist off on him. So sue him.

As one might expect, when some guy wearing a t-shirt from Curly's and Chuck Taylors walks into a vet with a goose under his arm, people take notice. After a few curious looks, a few sympathetic "Oohs" and a brief conversation with a fellow client, we were greeted by a very nice vet -- who took the bird back to his / her own pen to await transport to Rogers Wildlife Rehabilitation. On her way back out to the front desk, she remarked, "These wild ducks sure are calm."

So, it was a duck.

I noted that the duck came from a tony part of town, so that it was probably spoiled and used to being coddled. This seemed to entertain the staff at Eastlake Veterinary Hospital. So The Driver decided to leave the small crowd wanting more. He made his exit, feeling good about the fact that he, Mrs. Driver and our friend had done a little bit to help an animal in need.

As for "Maverick," that's what The Driver's friend decided to nickname the bird -- based on The Driver's insistence that it was a goose. Maverick + Goose = Top Gun. Brilliant.