The Driver family has started frequenting our local Braum's ice cream parlors. Specifically, there are two locations within a few miles of our home. Mrs. Driver enjoys the fresh-squeezed limeade. The Driver opts for the peanut butter hot fudge sundae. Because "...just the name sounds awesome and it is!"
Sadly, Braum's is not what it used to be.
Store #1, for example, has a credit card reader mounted on the exterior of the building below the drive-thru window. Taped to the device is a sign that reads: "Credit card machine will be fixed soon." The Drivers haven't returned to this location to determine how "soon" -- if ever -- the card reader will be repaired.
Store #2:
- Average age of adult customers: 107. Average age of youth customers: somewhere between "obnoxious" and "unruly".
- Average demeanor of staff: Surly.
- Guy Who Looks Like The Driver's Uncle invades The Driver's personal space by standing too close to The Driver in line.
Store #2 is currently offering a product called the "Sundae Driver". It's an ice cream sundae in a delicious, portable waffle cone. As the name suggests, this allows octogenarians to eat an ice cream sundae "on the go" (read: while operating a motor vehicle). It also means that the average beaten-down, low-rent Braum's patron can drive with his or her Sundae Driver in one hand -- leaving the other hand free for a cell phone and cigarette. This advanced technique is not recommended for older customers. One must hold the Sundae Driver with only the thumb, pinky and ring fingers -- while the cigarette dangles between the index and middle fingers.
In other words, don't try this at home -- and most definitely do not try this in the store. The Sundae Driver is recommended only for those "on the go."
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